In every relationship, the pairing of each person’s dominant Love Style forms what we call a “Core Pattern”. By understanding your Love Style as well as your relationship’s Core Pattern we can start to understand, heal, and strengthen your relationship(s).
Attachment Core Pattern Therapy ™
Attachment Core Pattern Therapy™ is a framework for couples’ therapy that focuses on how the attachment styles of each spouse collide in marriage creating a problematic Core Pattern that blocks connection and hinders communication. Once you have identified you and your spouse’s Love Style, click on the corresponding Core Pattern below to find out how your Love Styles interact.
Vacillator-Avoider
As the love styles collide, the Avoider feels constantly in “trouble” for disappointing their spouse.
Avoider-Pleaser
Over time, the Pleaser begins to feel rejected by the Avoiders’ independent, self-sufficient relational style.
Vacillator-Pleaser
As the imprints collide the Pleaser cannot keep up with the idealized expectation of the Vacillator.
Controller-Victim
The Controller never feels completely in charge as the smallest things threaten their sense of power.
Vacillator-Controller
Both the Vacillator and the Controller mistake intensity for intimacy. Often, that was their experience growing up.
Vacillator-Vacillator
Vacillators are sensitive and easily triggered by any hint of rejection or abandonment feeling overlooked.
Avoider-Avoider
Nothing seems to ruffle this couple. Conflict will be avoided unless it can be rationally discussed.
Pleaser-Pleaser
This pair takes the risk free route as much as possible and has difficulty making decisions.
