A Note to Fathers
Jennifer DeKlotz, LMFT
We just celebrated Father’s Day last weekend, and I read a quote that said “The problem, Fathers. The solution, Fathers.” Reading this after the horrific tragedy in Uvalde, TX, this quote struck me in a couple of ways. First, I became aware that I had a father who loved me. He was present in my life, and I know how privileged I am to be able to say that. Many cannot. Second, what will happen to all the fatherless children, many who will grow up to become fathers themselves one day? Who is going to teach them how to figure out their identity, their value, and learn what it looks like to be a healthy adult?
I write this for one main reason. If you are an adult male and have been given the gift of a healthy secure family, or have done the work to earn secure adulthood, then I believe you are a gift to the world. I believe you have the power to use your gifts to heal those around you. I believe you are the answer to many challenging relational problems in the world. My charge to you is go and offer it.
I also want to thank you for loving your wives, your children, and your community. Thank you for being a trustworthy safe presence. Thank you for protecting what is good and true. Thank you for standing up for what is right. Thank you for being in tune with the call of God and being faithful. Thank you for knowing the power of your words and deeds. Thank you for being a part of the solution.
I personally am one of those who has learned (and earned) being more secure. My journey toward greater security involved becoming more aware of myself, my impact on others, and intentionally stepping onto the path of healing and growth. I am still in process and humbled by the many father figures, mentors and guides that have helped me along the way.
I share this to encourage others on their journey. It is not too late. There is hope and help available. You are not alone. Reach out to someone you look up to and ask them to grab coffee. Ask good questions, be vulnerable, and be a good listener. The journey starts with your choice.
Happy Father’s Day. We are thankful for the men in our lives.
You are needed,
Darren
